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    • Mar

    19

    Life is a Beautiful Struggle

    Filed Under islam, movies, poetry, religion, spiritual practice | 7 Comments

    I never came so close to accepting Jesus as my Personal Savior till 2 o’clock this morning, when I was watching the final church scene of Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I replayed it three times before I went to bed. It is very tempting to surrender to the Lord like the people in this movie do, although I wonder what is on the other side that is not accessible to me from where I currently stand? Two weeks ago, Doug Muder wrote about the secular born again experience, and so it struck me as interesting that, although I’d consider myself already delivered from evil, that I could still be enticed by the gospel music group experience. Christians say to surrender, Muslims say to submit. Taoism says to let go. I’m still attemping to strike a balance between “letting go” and exerting my will. My natural inclination is to let go in surrender. I was quite the submissive servant of Allah for most of my life, but it was not until I took hold of myself and dared to open my eyes that this world began to be real.

    I suppose some might say that surrendering only works when it is to Jesus specifically, but I am dubious. One reason I left Islam was that I did not see any evidence that it had an exclusive ability to transform people. Christianity seems the same to me. My biological father, for example, is born again - and a youth pastor at his church in Texas - but he chooses not to communicate with me or my brother, his oldest children. I have not seen him in 25 years, and have spoken with him only once in that time. While I understand that he might be embarrassed about skipping out on us for ten bad years, he’s been saved now for at least 15. If the power of Jesus can’t spur him to overcome his fears, what would? Perhaps Christ saved him from drugs or alcohol or womanizing, or whatever he was into after my mother divorced him, but so far as his children Before Christ are concerned, he might as well still be lost in the streets.

    One of the thoughts that angered me as I was leaving Islam was the sense of betrayal; I had been promised that Islam improved people and made life good. What a broken promise!

    ‘Aisha, daughter of Prophet Muhammad, is reported to have said: “Poetry is both good and bad. Take the good, and leave the bad.”

    I am like a sparrow
    in a boy’s hand
    the sparrow is dying
    but the boy plays on.
    ~Qays ibn Mulawwah, translated by Ghazi A. AlGosaibi

    Popularity: 9% [?]

    Mar

    16

    Pensamientos de Cuba

    Filed Under anecdotes, away from home, politics, sadness | 1 Comment


    I don’t know when I will return to Cuba. The current restrictions make it virtually impossible for me to travel alone. I’d have to go as part of a sanctioned group. While I could easily visit via Jamaica or Mexico, I refuse to have to be a criminal to visit my father’s birthplace.

    It would be a very different experience going to Cuba as a non Muslim. When I was there before, most people knew right off the bat that I was not born there because of my Islamic dress. But one day I wore my headscarf tied up into a gelee, and donned a pair of jeans and a white polo shirt. Suddenly, I was incognito – no one stopped me on the street to ask what language I spoke, or for money. I experienced persistent whistling and the annoying “psss psss pssss” call from men passing by, but that was typical. Somewhere not far from the Malecón in Havana, I wandered into a visitor information shop. As I was browsing city maps, the armed soldier stationed inside suddenly began shouting in Spanish. I looked up at him, startled. He approached me and gestured towards the exit. “Get out of here,” he was saying. “You’re not supposed to be in here!” I was so taken off guard that I stumbled backward toward the door, my eyes on his automatic rifle. With the white tourists inside staring at me curiously, I attempted to apologize in broken Spanglish. As the glass door swung close in front of me, I could see the confused look on the guard’s face as it dawned on him that I was not Cuban.

    Well, maybe in a year I can visit Panamá and Venezuela.

    (photo by Nils; HSA in clogs)

    Popularity: 9% [?]

    Mar

    15

    What is the value of young black men in our society?

    Filed Under current affairs, music, sadness | 2 Comments

    Perhaps someone can explain to me how 14 year old Martin Lee Anderson’s beating can be on videotape, an expert pathologist can determine from a second autopsy that he died of injuries related to that beating (not a blood disorder as the first coroner claimed), and the boot camp he was sent to (for two hours before he was shipped to hospital) can be closed down, and yet no one has been charged for any crime related to his death?

    What if there hadn’t been a videotape?

    I am not one for many sentimental moments, but this is pretty distressing to me. I’m reminded of the murder of Amadou Diallo, for instance. Zero tolerance.

    Random, semi-connected thoughts:

    -One of my favorite songs: (lyrics to) Around My Way, by Talib Kweli

    -T-shirts I saw for sale in New York City some years back: “I’m black, but I’m not armed!”

    -Portland’s required police academy training will be increased from 10 weeks to 16. Maybe then we’ll have fewer officer involved shootings here. My training to be a customer service rep 9 years ago was five weeks. I do imagine that it’s at least twice as difficult to be a cop as it is to answer telephones.

    -Oh yeah, and if you haven’t already, please go see Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. It’s uplifting (at least for this person).

    Popularity: 16% [?]

    Mar

    8

    Many Visits + Daughters of Africa

    Filed Under blogging itself, books, movies, race | 4 Comments


    So far today, I’ve had 131 unique visitors to this blog. On a typical day, I have 15. So … what on earth is happening?! Most of them seem to be reading the first part of the bell hooks lecture summary. I wonder if Crash winning best movie at the Academy Awards has anything to do with this?

    Yesterday I learned that Matt Dillon was the only actor from the movie to be nominated for an Oscar. This may lend support to hooks’ statement that he was “the hero” of the movie. While Dillon did a good job, I actually thought Larenz Tate (quieter half of cart thieving duo) and Michael Pena (father of the little girl) offered the best acting - or at least, they portrayed the characters I was most intrigued by.

    I found the movie really interesting both times I saw it, and a jumping off point for discussion (used in anti oppression workshop I participated in as a trainer). I thought it depicted the frustration of many black men’s experiences with the police better than any other movie I’ve seen. And yet, an online pal, Ben Chan, sums up for me what I’ve come to believe is Crash’s major flaw:

    In the real world, the majority of racism and most other prejudices are
    subtle. For every “chink” thrown out there, there are ten instances of people
    asking some Asian American “where are you really from?”. I’d argue that “where are you from” attitude is more pervasive and leads to the “Fuck you chink!” … Ultimately, that is the crime of racism- it dehumanizes. But in the movie “Crash” nobody comes off as human- they’re all caricatures and so instead of racism being a human problem, it is a mere character flaw, a plot device in the movie.


    This reminds me: my favorite African American character in film to date is Daniel Holt, portrayed by Jeffrey Wright in Ang Lee’s underrated Ride with the Devil. It reminded me of Last of the Mohicans in that, by the movie’s end, it occurred to me that the most important character was perhaps the brown guy standing behind the white male lead. Also, bonus to Jewel for her strong female character of the old South. Very atypical. I must be strange because RwtD has probably received the least universal praise of all Lee’s films (after Hulk), but it is - by far - my favorite.

    In other news: I heard today that Margaret Busby, editor of the phenomenal anthology, Daughters of Africa, was on WBAI this morning and said she would be editing a NEW version of the book to include material published since 1994. Yes, yes, yes!

    Popularity: 7% [?]

    Mar

    7

    Film Favorites

    Filed Under movies, small happinesses | 2 Comments

    Watching the Academy Awards last night helped me to remember how much time I used to spend watching films. Now I see about two movies a month; back when I had a very limited social life, I would watch, on average, seven a week.

    A random 10 of some favorite films:

    1) Before Night Falls - art and persecution in Castro’s Cuba
    2) Fearless - dying to ourselves - more than once
    3) The Decalogue - inspired by the 10 commandments
    4) 25th Hour - coming to grips with one’s choices
    5) Ed Wood - all the freaky people make the beauty of the world (franti)
    6) The Secret Garden (1993) - if you were born sour, you should learn to love flowers
    7) All About Eve - great one liners + female characters
    8) The Widow of St. Pierre - powerful woman + anti death penalty
    9) I Am Cuba - some of the best cinematography ever + an ode to a revolution
    10) Karakter - complex relationship between a bewildered son and stonehearted father

    My favorite actors are Sarah Polley (My Life Without Me), Daniel Auteuil (Girl on the Bridge), Juliette Binoche (see #8), Jeff Bridges (The Door in the Floor), Jeffrey Wright (Ride with the Devil), Tony Leung Chiu Wai (Ashes of Time), Rachel Weisz (Sunshine), Andre Braugher (Homicide), and a couple of other people. Honorable mention to Linus Roache, who broke my heart twice - first in Priest, then in Wings of the Dove - but never quite found a role as good as those again.

    I am always looking for recommends. I am a sucker for redemption stories.

    (picture: still from Mike Van Diem’s practically perfect Dutch film, Karakter)

    Popularity: 6% [?]

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