Life is a Beautiful Struggle

Filed Under islam, movies, poetry, religion, spiritual practice

I never came so close to accepting Jesus as my Personal Savior till 2 o’clock this morning, when I was watching the final church scene of Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I replayed it three times before I went to bed. It is very tempting to surrender to the Lord like the people in this movie do, although I wonder what is on the other side that is not accessible to me from where I currently stand? Two weeks ago, Doug Muder wrote about the secular born again experience, and so it struck me as interesting that, although I’d consider myself already delivered from evil, that I could still be enticed by the gospel music group experience. Christians say to surrender, Muslims say to submit. Taoism says to let go. I’m still attemping to strike a balance between “letting go” and exerting my will. My natural inclination is to let go in surrender. I was quite the submissive servant of Allah for most of my life, but it was not until I took hold of myself and dared to open my eyes that this world began to be real.

I suppose some might say that surrendering only works when it is to Jesus specifically, but I am dubious. One reason I left Islam was that I did not see any evidence that it had an exclusive ability to transform people. Christianity seems the same to me. My biological father, for example, is born again - and a youth pastor at his church in Texas - but he chooses not to communicate with me or my brother, his oldest children. I have not seen him in 25 years, and have spoken with him only once in that time. While I understand that he might be embarrassed about skipping out on us for ten bad years, he’s been saved now for at least 15. If the power of Jesus can’t spur him to overcome his fears, what would? Perhaps Christ saved him from drugs or alcohol or womanizing, or whatever he was into after my mother divorced him, but so far as his children Before Christ are concerned, he might as well still be lost in the streets.

One of the thoughts that angered me as I was leaving Islam was the sense of betrayal; I had been promised that Islam improved people and made life good. What a broken promise!

‘Aisha, daughter of Prophet Muhammad, is reported to have said: “Poetry is both good and bad. Take the good, and leave the bad.”

I am like a sparrow
in a boy’s hand
the sparrow is dying
but the boy plays on.
~Qays ibn Mulawwah, translated by Ghazi A. AlGosaibi

Comments

7 Responses to “Life is a Beautiful Struggle”

Wally Nut on March 20th, 2006 9:23 pm

I hesitate to comment because this is such a personal thing, this issue of surrendering/submitting/letting go. What has helped me in this is to understand that it is only the ego (Aisha’s sparrow?) that needs to surrender, not the whole “self.” This “letting go” is, in my view, a letting go of control. The ego wants to control everything and judge everything according to how it believes that things “ought to be.” This of course distracts us from seeing how things are in fact. When we can see things “how they are,” then we are awake. To be awake is of course to be enlightened.

I believe that we all have a “higher self” that is divine in nature, and that when the ego surrenders to this Higher Self/True Self/Angel Self, then we become incredibly powerful and incredibly compassionate. As connected to that Higher Self, we love ourselves first. We do this because we finally understand that our primary job here is to be happy, to be full of love, to live in our passion, and thus to express the Divine in this realm, in these bubbles of biology, in these beautiful bodies. When we truly see clearly and live in our passion, we will of course be compassionate and loving to all people, because we have been there too, if not in this lifetime, in others. Sometimes the best/highest expression of that love is to either let people alone or to say “no” to them. Other times, it is to reach out a loving hand, while fully respecting the Higher Self of the other person, fully understanding that there are no victims among us human angels.

Blessings,
Clyde Grubbs on March 21st, 2006 1:44 am

Relative to the human will and religious images of being in relationship to that which is beyond our personal selves (submit, commit, join with, let go and be with the flow, non attachment and awareness) —-there is a distinction to be made between willingness, and willfulness.

Willfulness is self empowerment. Willingness is a good way to describe positive assertion of the will in concert with that in which we live, and move and have our being. In Native American “theology” we would say being in harmony with the relatives.
PeaceBang on March 22nd, 2006 3:19 pm

What a great post (or I should say, ANOTHER great post). I hope to write about this more on PeaceBang but thanks for getting me started.
Having been raised Unitarian Universalist, I never believed or was taught that submitting to Jesus was the exclusive way to salvation (or, if you prefer, wholeness). What happened is that in my adulthood I *chose* to make Jesus the Way for my life — not out of guilt or anxiety but simply because I felt Jesus and the God he believed in would be much better guides and guards of my soul than I could ever find using a mish-mash of various religious ideas cobbled together on my own.

When I came to believe in the goodness of respecting a higher authority (not just Higher Power, but Authority), obedience became a wonderful, life-giving blessing.

Of course my obedience is radically imperfect, but that’s another comment altogether!
Christine on March 24th, 2006 4:41 pm

Here is something to consider as you are seeking.

Many people believe that God and Jesus can be one of many ways to eternal life… one of many gods they can choose from, all having the same outcome. I’ve heard people refer to Jesus as a moral man … a good prophet. However, Jesus Himself claimed to be the one and only Messiah. So, either He is … or He was a lunatic for making such claims.

The teachings of Christ will show you that He would not want you to look at Him as one of the “many ways.” He was really clear on that point.

Think through that. Maybe learn more about Him - dive a little deeper. I’ve found the book “The Case for Christ” to really be astounding. It will help you come to the point where you either believe Him and take Him as He was … or not.

Enjoy your journey!
Paul on March 29th, 2006 7:40 am

As a person who has been a seeker all of my life, I say follow your heart. Personally I believe that many roads lead to Rome as it were. “GOD” is greater than anything that we can understand logically so it has to be done with our heart in my opinion. I do not think that any one religion has an absolute choke hold on the truth. Good luck in your spiritual journey.
Wally Nut on April 4th, 2006 8:22 pm

for Christine: or maybe he was misquoted.
Christine on April 5th, 2006 6:18 am

Wally Nut,

That’s a perfect point to ponder (sorry for all the P’s!). That is exactly what people should be considering.

Was Jesus misquoted? If so, were all of our other ancient documents full of error? How are any of these documents seen as credible today?

Dig into that.