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    • Aug

    29

    Full Steam Ahead: What’s Going On

    Filed Under being creative, friends, health, lil things, local, movies, plans, small happinesses | 2 Comments

    I think I’m addicted to Facebook. Just a little bit. It’s pretty awesome. There are a lot of other things going on, though. Like writing for HealthyNerds - I have to build up a reservoir of posts for those days when I’m not home (my goal is to post daily for my clients). And I’m also working hard to find more clients. I really enjoy the coaching aspect, but being my own boss means putting myself out there and risking failure! And talking to new people all the time - that’s my big challenge. That, and being consistent. Doing a little bit every day. The skills I’m having to learn as a new health coach will serve me well in all aspects of my life, especially as I pursue a writing career. (Yes, me too!)

    Which reminds me: I decided to apply for a women’s writers-in-residence program. I don’t really know how that works, or whether I have any chance of getting in, but it can’t hurt to apply, and it will be good to have my “samples” all ready to send out at a moment’s notice. Unfortunately, I have to include in my application “why this program will be of benefit to me.” *balk* Pray for me, is all I have to say. That’s due in a couple of weeks, and I still have two poems to finish for that package.

    Beginning tomorrow I’ll be a landlady for the first time! My new tenants seem to be a nice young couple, and my place seems a good match for them. Keeping fingers crossed that the next year is delightful and low-key. Tonight, however, I’m cleaning in preparation for the couple’s move-in. I hired a cleaning service and they didn’t do a spectacular job. The DH and I were dealing with several properties at one point this year, and I can definitely attest to the fact that “good help is hard to find.” Our gardening guy flaked out on us, a cleaning lady showed up 12 hours late, and the pressure washer dude charged $500 for a few hours of work. But the man who installed the new baseboard trim finished two days ahead of time, and the landscaper did a fabulous job with no drama. You win some, you lose some, I guess.

    This weekend I’m going to the Redlands with a UU friend I’m getting to know better. She and I (and another woman I don’t know), will be staying at a top rated hostel and going hiking. Yay! Hoping to get some new photos out of the trip, and at least one good writing piece.

    Later in September: starting off several new clients the day after Labor Day; a joint birthday party/camping trip with several other Virgoan friends; producer training at the cable access channel in town; taking swimming lessons from my dad; riding the bike around the neighborhood; writing lots more poetry; facilitating a book group for the Real Wealth of Nations; the Portland Spelling Bee; and experimenting with our new outdoor grill. Oh, and I think I’m going to bow out of ushering from church this year. I’ve been late to a couple of Sundays and after four years I think it’s time to find another way to serve!

    My friend Claire introduced me to a new word: Organi-tarian. It describes meat eaters who strive to support humane treatment of their animal food sources. I think Claire made this word up, so yay for Claire!

    Right now, I’m looking forward to the last month of summer, and hoping that somewhere between the reading, writing, and putting myself out there, I’ll be able to keep up with the laundry, the housework, the yard work, and my friends. Oh, and I’ve definitely got to see Christian Bale’s new movie, 3:10 to Yuma.

    Popularity: 26% [?]

    Aug

    27

    Musical Blind Spots

    Filed Under humor, lil things, music, nostalgia, pop culture | 2 Comments

    After reading the comments at CK’s post on 8 Random Things, I felt a little isolated. College aged students who don’t know who Tori Amos or Nirvana are? A few days ago I asked the DH if he’d like to listen to Cyndi Lauper. His response: “Who’s that?” I repeated her name, thinking he must not have heard it right. He looked at me, waiting. “You know that song, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!” No, he did not. “Time After Time. True Colors?” I sang a few lines of I Drove All Night. Blank stare.

    Scary.

    However, Tori Amos happens to be one of his favorite singers; he’s seen her live two or three times.  I guess we all have our blind spots. I’m sure I’ve some, too, but unfortunately can’t tell you what they are.

    Popularity: 23% [?]

    Aug

    27

    Tag Teaming Personal Racism

    Filed Under ao resources, friends, race, small happinesses | 9 Comments

    The DH and I were having a meal with some good friends yesterday when the wife of the couple asked me, “So, tell me this - I don’t understand. Why are African American men so violent?” She went on to describe how in school the black boys would torment her, and were so brutal and vicious. “Is it genetics? I wonder, if you took black boys in put them in white families, would they turn out the same? The Asian kids in school were so good and quiet, and they wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

    Sometimes I just get so blindsided. I’d swear that right before she said this we were talking about Hawaii or having children - I mean, something seemingly, totally unrelated. Anyway, I wasn’t utterly unprepared; this is the same friend who, last winter, insisted that I was “too nice” to be black, but still. It was hard at first to come up with anything coherent to say.

    The DH, who has been reading a lot of economics recently jumped right in. “Have you ever taken a course in statistics?” he asks our friend. She said she had in college, but it was the only C she’s ever received. So the DH broke it down and talked about some study (perhaps featured in Freakonomics) which illustrated that, after taking out all other factors, such as economic levels, education of the mother, etc. that race played virtually no role in criminal behavior - he could not speak to violence per se, as that is not what was being measured in this study.

    I swear to God, the DH amazes me. We all four of us had a bit of a conversation. I did get a little emotional, but talked about the recent history of racial prejudice. The good thing about my friend is that she just says what is in her brain, and so it became apparent that the root of her perception sprung from several things:

    1. She is a well off Russian immigrant, and she is surrounded by other, (mostly) well to do Russian immigrants; if they could succeed in this country so quickly, what is wrong with black people in America?

    2. She really does not know any black people besides me (not surprisingly), but the little exposure she has to television and media paints a bleak picture. “Look at their movies and tv shows, black men are always on drugs, shooting, and cheating on their woman - and tell me this: Why are there so many single black mothers? Why don’t black men stay with their women?”

    There was so much coming out at once, my brain felt like it was quickly melting. There was no pain, but my vision became blurry, my cheeks got hot, my jaw felt loose. And I wasn’t even angry.

    As all training and rehearsing is wont to do, the AR/AO work I’ve done kicked in and helped me formulate responses quickly while I tried to manage my emotions. To be sure, I approach things from a sense of right and wrong, e.g. It is wrong to believe that one race of people is morally inferior than others. The DH, however, is less interested in right/wrong and wants to know what is: is race in actuality the reason why this person is behaving this way?

    Together, we talked about this for about half an hour. I attempted to address social factors, laws to restrict black mobility, and also the diversity of the black community that she simply was not privy to. The DH talked about percentages, and filters for success in this country, and how immigration is itself a filter: who makes it here from other countries; and who are they leaving behind?

    Eventually, the husband of the couple interrupted the conversation to suggest we leave the restaurant and go to their house for cake and coffee. I agreed because I wanted to see their new puppy. We had separate cars, and on the way to their house, the DH told me that he “really wanted” to continue this conversation because he had responses to her argument.

    Alas, by the time we arrived at their house, it was all about the puppy, and cheesecake. I suspect the husband of the couple might have informed his wife that this was a sensitive topic and to perhaps back off. Nonetheless, we didn’t leave their house until seven or so hours later. We had several more very lively discussions about whether a prayer-at-a-distance can really heal, whether the DH is really an atheist (our friend insists he really does believe in God - he just doesn’t know it); and whether Mother Theresa did more harm than good.

    I’m grateful to have the DH with me in moments like these. I’m grateful to have friends (note: not totally random strangers) who challenge me in this way, and give me room to practice speaking up, listening, and having difficult conversations. I’m also grateful that I personally don’t have to cope with this on a daily basis; it makes it that much easier on the occasions that I do.

    Popularity: 34% [?]

    Aug

    25

    What Happened to that Seminary Post?

    Filed Under blogging itself | 3 Comments

    I could have sworn that, two days ago there was a post from someone in the UU blogosphere about a new model for ministerial training. Now I can’t find it at all. I thought I even commented on it (but maybe I just thought about commenting). Does anyone else know what I’m talking about? I can’t remember who wrote it. Boys in the Bands? Making Chutney? I think the blog background was white.

    Popularity: 18% [?]

    Aug

    23

    Last Night in the Poetry Section

    Filed Under being creative, poetry, questions, quotes, small happinesses | 3 Comments

    Low Fence at Keystone, 2007The DH and I walked over to Borders last night after a late dinner. He lost himself in a debate between Bertrand Russell and Father Copleston while I headed over to the poetry section.

    After half an hour, I kicked myself for leaving at home my orange poetry notebook; it’s where I keep excerpts from poems I like, and reminders of poems and poets to read more of. In fact, I was in the unusual predicament of possessing ZERO notebooks on me and zero pens - so I couldn’t write down anything.

    So I attempted something crazy: remembering the names of the poems I loved the most.

    God must be a poet because, miraculously, when I woke up this morning, I was able to remember the three poems I liked so much last night. They were:

    The lines from Courage that read:

    If your buddy saved you
    and died himself in so doing,
    then his courage was not courage,
    it was love; love as simple as shaving soap.

    caused me to wonder about the way that war and fighting is sold to us as a demonstration of courage. We fight or we strive for victory because we are brave. Sometimes, we’re told, what we can look forward to is camaraderie or brotherhood. But I don’t recall ever hearing it referred to as love. Don’t men die for love, too?

    Then again, maybe love just doesn’t work as a motivating cry to kill other people.

    Roethke’s line, “What’s madness but nobility of soul/At odds with circumstance?” sounds faintly familiar. Apparently it’s a famous poem, so probably I’ve seen it quoted and didn’t understand that it was a reference.

    As for “Habitation,” it’s the second Atwood poem I’ve read, and the second I’ve loved; the first, “Girl Without Hands” is obliquely alluded to here in my description of God (which is still true, by the way). Maybe I will read Habitation at our wedding; maybe not.

    Popularity: 21% [?]

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