Less Need, Less Tolerance

Filed Under away from home, from the heart, lil things | Leave a Comment

I already learned this, but it’s easy to forget: how well one can get by with so little. And I’m not interested in disputes, or uncharitable conversation of any kind.

I’m thinking of my new pair of beautiful, dark blue dishes with the cherry blossom pattern - I bought them just a few days before I left home. All of the sudden, while standing at the sink in my grandfather’s tiny kitchen, I remembered them. But the chicken and rice my great aunt cooked for me didn’t taste any less good in a stained, white, plastic bowl.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Oct

29

A Dozen Kids Say the Darndest Things

Filed Under humor, media, pop culture | 2 Comments

One of the few channels I can get on this old television is TLC. I think the show I’m watching is “Kids by the Dozen,” which is a show about families with twelve or more kids. It’s not clear to me yet whether this is a horror movie or a disaster movie, but according to the little write-up I saw online, it’s supposed to be inspiring.

I’m inspired to continue birth control of some form or another until I die.

p.s. The family does seem loving and happy, and at least they live on some land. I just never want to be as tired as that mom seems. She’s running a full-time business 24/7. Plus, when you get that many kids that look alike in the same space my sense of children as alien creatures becomes more pronounced.

Popularity: 29% [?]

Oct

25

Experimentalists - not UUs?

Filed Under uu culture, uuism | Leave a Comment

It’s almost 3am in NY and I should be in bed asleep, but for over a week the same question persists in bugging me: why don’t we see more experimentation and “play” with UUism? Why such radical and freewheeling fundamental concepts, and then traditional, non experiential practice? Here and there, yes, perhaps. But where are the radical fellowships and the encouragement to go forth and try new things - to do things in small groups? To make mistakes?

Half formed questions … going to sleep.

Popularity: 18% [?]

Oct

25

Where I’m At

Filed Under being creative, events, inspiration, love, people, sadness | 5 Comments

Right now I’m in New York; after talking with my mom yesterday morning it became apparent that I needed to come out and be with her. Her dad is dying, and now his wife of 40 years is in the hospital, possibly in the advanced stages of cancer.

So I flew out yesterday afternoon and arrived early this morning. Visited my step grandmother and my granddad at their respective hospitals, talked with doctors about DNRs, DNIs, life support, feeding tubes, hospice care, etc.

When we returned to my grandfather’s house this evening, my mom took me to the basement, to show me where the washer is. (I’d spilled gasoline on myself while pumping gas in Manhasset.) I found a bunch of my granddad’s manuscripts - novels and short stories he’d written 40 and 50 years ago.

I’d planned to do some reading in preparation for the Real Wealth of Portland event I’m flying back to moderate this Friday night, but instead I read a bunch of his short stories. These were his thoughts - the things he felt were important. These were, as the poet William Stafford put it, “the evidence.”

It’s with no small measure of pride that I say my grandfather was a writer. He was persistent, observant, informed, and writing, writing, writing. I’m inspired.

I feel sleepy now, so I’ll just end by saying that I’m glad I came. My mom has no siblings and has been bearing a lot on her own. Emotionally and practically, it’s just a lot to deal with, and even though I don’t feel particularly helpful, she says me just being here takes a big weight off her shoulders.

I am definitely going to have to come back soon. Maybe as soon as Saturday.

Popularity: 27% [?]

Oct

19

My Funeral One Day

Filed Under humor, plans, questions | 5 Comments

I like to imagine my death as a pleasant affair - it’s the morning after my 100th birthday, and I wake up a little too early - it’s just getting light outside, and the house is quiet. The 95 year old body of the LH is lying next to me, already dead (because he passed happily in the night, full of chocolate cake and memories of my breasts when they were young). And I prop myself up, pull out my little notebook that I keep by my bedside, and write a final note to my kids:

“You all are so old-ass by now, I hope you can read this. Just don’t do the laser eye surgery thing - remember that you’re black and might get keloids!”

I’m sure there’d be more things in there, but don’t know what those things might be.

A few weeks ago I attended the memorial service of a former coworker; he was born in the 70s … died far too young. His parents had a Pastor he’d never met assure us all that his soul was saved and that he’d be standing next to Jesus when He came back for the Rapture. I’m pretty confident that’s not what will happen at my service, thanks to having an atheist partner and Muslim parents. But what will it be like?

The LH has it all figured out. He says he wants his body to be dropped out of an airplane at a big target on the ground; and if his body hits the target, everybody gets tacos.

I’ve also been reading the blog of Auspicious Jots. She’s a UU minister whose focus is funerals. She’s really fun. I loved reading her accounts of the national convention for funeral directors that just took place in Vegas. There was a guy who sold cool urns. And coffins with cardboard cut outs of Elvis …. Do I want to be buried or cremated? I don’t even know!

I’ve never been to a funeral (just one or two memorial services). I’ve never seen a body in a casket. Something tells me that if I died at 35 my funeral would be very different than if I died at 100. So I really want to think about this. So far, all I know is that I want that Patty Griffin song, “Up to the Mountain” played. And I don’t want everyone wearing black, either. They should all wear green (my favorite color).

My funeral: a work in progress.

Popularity: 18% [?]