Focus For the New Year: Increments

Filed Under inspiration, plans | 5 Comments

Miller's father stressed the importance of Increments. It would be inappropriate to call it a New Year’s Resolution, as I’ve been mulling this over for a few months already: practicing the concept of “increments.”

Here is where I avoid my usual exposition - I don’t want to belabor the point - and give it to you in a nutshell. There is a theory that there are two categories into which most people can be divided, who could be described in this way:

The first is the type who, as children, came home from school with an A on a test, and their parents’ response would be, “You got an A! You’re so smart!”
The second is the type who came home from school with an A on a test, and their parent’s response was, “You got an A! All of your studying paid off!”

All my life, I’ve been in the first category, conflating the “work” that I produced with my personal value and worth. This “fixed mindset” (so-called by Carol Dweck of Stanford University) is not working for me. So I’m going to try thinking and acting “incrementally,” a term I first heard of last year while reading a very long article about the actor Wentworth Miller.

Coincidentally, several months ago, the LH stumbled across some papers (such as the one referenced here) on the subject of incremental thinking. Through conversations it became apparent that we both wanted to make a conscious effort to apply this theory of learning to ourselves.

So. We will see. The biggest hurdle may very well be finding value in small steps. Intellectually, I know it’s there, but it will take time to create new habits that really support the behavior I want out of myself. It’s exciting, and I’m happy the LH and I will be able to support one another in this endeavor.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Dec

28

Thank You for Your Help - and Resolutions

Filed Under education, lil things, plans | 1 Comment

I realize sometimes I bring up miniature dilemmas here, receive feedback from kind readers, and then never mention how I resolved the issue. Here is how a few things turned out:

On the Dilemma of Real or Fake Christmas Trees
Last you may have heard, I thought I might go with a potted tree that could be replanted later. Alas, procrastination got the better of me, and I waited too long to send the email, mail the check, and fax the form (yes, all three were necessary to procure the tree). The LH ended up driving me a mile down the road and taking me to my first Christmas Tree Lot of locally grown trees (a tradition since 1979! according to the sign). The potted tree was going to run me $65. The tree I got was $25. It’s gorgeous. It is not a big deal to keep it watered. It’s the perfect tree. I cannot believe I ever considered getting a fake one!!! (Tino, you were right.) Yes, it only has seven ornaments on it, but the tree is beautiful enough without the glitz and glamour.

On the Dilemma of Atrociously Wrinkled Cloth Napkins
I have decided that it’s really not that bad. They end up in one’s lap anyhoo. For special occasions, however, I’ve confirmed that removing them from the dryer when they are still damp does work - thank you all!

On the Dilemma of Which Class to Take
Ultimately I chose History of the Middle East over Medieval Women Writers. The former just seems far more relevant right now, and it will help me fill in some blanks. (I know a lot of Islamic history from the Sunni Muslim perspective, but that hardly covers things.) So my three other classes are: Muckraking: the Activist’s Role in Shaping America’s History; Psychoanalysis and Film during which I’ll be learning a lot about Lacan; and Political Criticism in Film.

Thanks to those who pitched in with their thoughts and opinions - they really did have an influence on what I decided.

Popularity: 23% [?]

Dec

28

Rejected but Not Dejected

Filed Under being creative, happiness, photos, plans | 2 Comments

This photo of Havana didn't make the cut
These days I’m writing poems inspired by photographs I took in Cuba back in 1999. The photos and poems will be compiled into an iPhoto book for my personal library. I’m excited to finally be doing something with the photos. (And a Hooray for scanners!)

Several weeks ago, I received my first rejection letter since deciding to “become” a writer again. Apart from a feeling of mild disappointment that lasted all of ten seconds, the notice didn’t bother me. (Don’t ask me when I learned not to take that kind of thing personally - maybe it ran off with my Seasonal Affective Disorder.) Included in my rejected application was a proposal for a collection of poems about the trips I’ve taken to Cuba, Spain, and Guatemala. Just because my proposal wasn’t accepted doesn’t mean I shouldn’t write the poems ….

I’m not using all of my Cuba photos - just 10-15 of them. The photo above, of a main street in Havana, didn’t make the cut. Because it’s cute, I stick in this one of the farm puppy with the toddler’s shoes.

Puppy

Popularity: 21% [?]

Dec

28

Are You “Not Hispanic”?

Filed Under anecdotes, lil things, politics, race | 2 Comments

Over the last year or so I’ve come across numerous “demographic” questionnaires that are very particular about ferreting out the “Hispanics” among us. Last winter, the first of these threw both the LH and me for a real loop:

Strange Questionnaire

As you may or may not be able to see, the creators of this form apparently believe that if you are Hispanic you cannot identify as anything else. I especially love the last line: “Two or more races (not Hispanic or Latino).”

For a few moments, the LH was in a bit of quandary as to what box to check seeing as how he is half Japanese and half Mexican (European + indigenous + who knows). But eventually he chose Asian because … majority rules. (???) The thing is, the LH is not that unusual. I know of a dozen people who have one Mexican parent and one Pakistani parent. Not to mention the Chinese Cubans, and myriads of other folks.

This questionnaire came up when the LH was completing paperwork for employment - something to do with Homeland Security. Since that time, we’ve seen similar forms at the bank and other places. The most recent form that I saw like this was for the SATs - it was identical except for one curious addition: being Mexican warranted its very own box on its very own line.

At least it didn’t say “Mexican (not Hispanic or Latino).”

Popularity: 20% [?]

Dec

27

Unburying My Head

Filed Under current affairs, history, islam, politics, sadness | Leave a Comment

Not being much of a news watcher, I learned about Benazir Bhutto’s assassination from a casual blogger in Brooklyn. For the first few minutes, I ran searches in Google, trying to confirm that it was just a prank or rumor, but it seems to be real.

For a while now I’ve been feeling a growing bemusement about what so-called Muslims are doing to each other. Earlier this year, I stopped listening to reports about bombings across the African and Asian continents - and slaughters in Iraq. As a former Muslim I am dismayed - and wondering what conversations Muslims are having about these atrocities - in this post 9/11, post-Taliban, post-Saddam, post-Arafat “Muslim world.”

I’ve had the displeasure of interacting with a few very frightening “Muslims” who expressed support for suicide bombings and such things - and this was pre-9/11. But even then they seemed peripheral. Surely, as a typical Muslim in the US, such people are anomalies and weirdos - they were as central to my life as neo-Nazi clans are to the average American. But gradually these people have become less peripheral; they are changing the agenda. Hell, they are the agenda.

For a long time I just wanted to take a break from all things politically Muslim. But now it’s definitely time to get my head out of the sand. I decided last week, while registering for my Winter classes, to take History of the Middle East (in Spring there is History of US-Middle East relations). There is a lot I don’t understand and don’t know.; lots of blanks to fill in. I’m sure a few courses won’t teach me all there is, but it feels more and more necessary to have some grasp of what’s going on. I may not be able to do anything more than have an informed opinion, but that’s got to feel better than just being at a complete loss.

Popularity: 20% [?]