Is My Life Too Good?

Filed Under class, from the heart, life changes, questions

The other day I was thinking about UUs, class and race, and all of the sudden I felt so trapped. Helplessly, hopelessly stuck in this world I’ve constructed for myself (or fallen into?) of people who are so. much. like. me. People I love, yes, people who teach me things, share my values, provide emotional support, challenge (some of) my assumptions, and make me feel grateful for humanity. But still, they are people very much like me.

On the one hand I think of myself as one of “the people” (the masses, the hoi polloi, the common folk), and yet when I talk about politics, race, gender, or economics, it doesn’t feel as though I’m talking about myself or my friends half the time. There seems to be a growing distance between me and “the people,”which doesn’t seem sensible because I am still them - life is just really good for me right now.

I feel more and more as though I’m being drawn away by some line of success - not personal, but circumstantial. I went from being a single, working woman living alone to being in a two income household; now I’m a student at a private university ($1000 per class!) and we can afford for me to not work at all. It’s very possible that I won’t have to get a “real job” for the next several years, even if we have children. That’s not normal, is it?

How do I become less distanced from financial struggle? Do I have an obligation to do so? Because I co-lead anti oppression workshops, I need to be mindful of how I relate to the material I’m introducing people to. A lot of the folks who do workshops with me are organizers, and are involved in a lot of grassroots work. I’m not so much; the only thing I’m doing to that end right now is The Real Wealth of Portland stuff, and we are still figuring out what we want to do - we’ve been focusing for the last six months on understanding economics and alternative systems, and looking at the work others are doing in Portland.

When I was working, I knew people who were single moms, heads of families struggling with four kids to make ends meet, people of diverse racial backgrounds. But now I’m at home, interacting mostly with the self-employed and active retirees. I’m turning into one of those people you see at church during coffee hour who amazingly has time to be on a crapload of committees! When I turn on the tv, I’m the target audience now for all of those HGTV, Travel channel, and Food Network shows. I have to veer away from displays of the Real Simple magazine - which once struck me as RIDICULOUS and indulgent, but now seems reasonable and even a tad helpful.

I like who I am, but should I be different? Is it possible for me to be anything other than who I am, given my current situation? What kind of connections will I need to build in order to feel more grounded - more invested - in the well-being of all? How do I make my way back to the margins? I’ve got to do some deep thinking about this.

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One Response to “Is My Life Too Good?”

How to Go Against Segregation in Our Daily Lives? on February 4th, 2008 9:22 am

[...] “Is My Life Too Good?,” Unitarian Universalist blogger Hafidha Sofia reflects on how, as her financial circumstances have [...]

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