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    Grumpy But Not Ill-Tempered

    Filed Under new things, pregnancy 

    Warning: Pregnancy post ahead.

    I am tired of being pregnant. Oh wait, maybe I’m just tired. Yes, that’s it. I’m really, really, really frickin’ tired.

    But I can live with that; I’ll take a(nother) nap. Then I made the mistake of reading an online discussion about differences in pain and recovery times for C-section vs. vaginal births. WTF did I do THAT for? That was horrible. Now I’m just feeling … terrified! I’ve never been hospitalized in my life. The strongest medication I’ve ever taken is laughing gas, and a single dose of Vicodin after having a few teeth removed. What if I just totally crack? How on earth do people women do this?

    I was feeling so confident yesterday, but today … not at all.

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    10 Responses to “Grumpy But Not Ill-Tempered”

    1. revsean on February 10th, 2008 8:32 am

      believe me, learning to hold and live with and through fear is a big part of this journey. if it comes to that (and I sincerely hope it does not) you will simply find the strength to do what must be done for the good of your child. believe me, parents learn this strength at great cost. and yet, it is a great gift. just remember all the women who came before you. they were not always the strong mamas they are now. they learned strength from and for their children. blessings on you!

      (from H Sofia: Thanks, Sean, for the thoughts. I will try to remember!)

    2. Ms. Theologian on February 10th, 2008 9:22 am

      I was going to say you sounded pregnant a few weeks ago with the blood test-hamburger post, but that seemed….presumptuous of me, so I kept my mouth shut. Congratulations!

      Having been pregnant three times, I will say (that for me) it is always a day to day thing with just being here now, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes scared, sometimes thrilled, but always trying to be here rather than the scary place down the road that I can’t do anything about. And I try to stay off on-line discussions of pregnancy and birth because often the information is…well…too much information. :)

      And, Congratulations!

      (from H Sofia: Thanks, Ms. T - I think you are right about the online information thing. I’m in a lucky position of having several friends who are in the same situation, so I should seek them out as allies. The internet is just so tempting for quick information, but sometimes it gets way too ugly! And not only is there too much info, there’s too much conflicting info.)

    3. Sara on February 10th, 2008 3:50 pm

      Congratulations! Yes, I’d definitely stay away from online questions; ask ‘real’ people instead. (Although it is nice to find bloggers who have birthing perspectives that match yours.) It’s an amazing, beautiful process. I do fondly remember the naps while pregnant! Best, Sara

      (from H Sofia: Thanks, Sara. Yes, I’ve learned my lesson now! LOL)

    4. Shelby Meyerhoff on February 10th, 2008 9:08 pm

      Congratulations! That’s wonderful news that you are pregnant. I don’t have any advice to give, but being nervous sounds normal to me.

      (from H Sofia: Thanks, Shelby. I feel better today.)

    5. Jess on February 10th, 2008 11:42 pm

      Being nervous is totally normal, sweetie! If it helps, I am the biggest wimp about pain, almost fainting if I cut my finger in the kitchen, but I was okay without drugs.

      My biggest piece of unasked-for-advice would be to go with a midwife rather than an OB if at all possible, especially if you want a less “medical” approach to the delivery itself. My two deliveries were night and day, the second with the midwife being a much better experience on all fronts. Well, except the actual meeting-the-baby part, which was equally awesome both times. :-)

      (from H Sofia: Thanks, Jess. Midwives are my first choice, as I’ve just met too many of them to consider otherwise. It seems as though a lot of the experience has to do with who else is in the room with you when the labor happens. I can’t believe some OBs won’t show up for the birth if it’s their day off or they’re on vacation!)

    6. krisg on February 11th, 2008 9:16 am

      From one pregnant woman to another: Doesn’t pregnancy redefine what tired means? I’ve been sleep deprived before, I’ve been bone tired from hard work, I’ve been mentally done from 8 hour long engineering exams, but still the first trimester of pregnancy reset my standard for what deep down _tired_ means.

      We had 3 miscarriages before our son was born, so going into delivery I was just worried about my son and I making through it alive. We made it through with flying colors, much less trauma than some of my friends, though I’m not sure you can have a completely trauma free delivery. I do believe that you will not resent any method that gets you through to a healthy mother and child. And that you will find the strength to endure anything, and even see the silver lining to it :)

      Of course I can’t tell you to not worry because I think that the worry is part of the pregnancy. We’re expecting our second right now and we’ve found out it’s a girl. I go through bouts of near paranoia about raising a young woman, but I know that when she’s here I’ll love her unfailingly and guide her as well as I can and we’ll figure it out.

      (from H Sofia: Thanks for sharing your story, Kris. Yes, it’s true my primary concern is carrying a healthy baby to term - I figure 24-48 hours of even an hellacious labor couldn’t offset the relief of that. It was just this profound moment of: what did I get myself into?! Of course, then I feel a little bit guilty for feeling annoyed at being so tired! LOL. This habit of judging my *feelings* has *got* to go. Congratulations on expecting your second child!

    7. jacqueline on February 11th, 2008 10:12 am

      You just do it the best YOU can do it.

      Oh… congratulations! How exciting.

    8. Lizard Eater on February 11th, 2008 10:39 am

      Oh, that’s wonderful. Hearty congratulations.

      Tired … ugh, I was never so tired! I had a friend who was unexpectedly pregnant — before she knew, she was convinced she had leukemia, because she was SO exhausted.

      First trimester? It gets better for practically everyone. Oooh, and second trimester, the “honeymoon” time … food never tasted so good.

      Yes, yes, avoid the online stuff. “Mothering” is a great magazine; I haven’t tried their online forums.

      Birth is … well, in one way, it’s easy. Your body knows what to do. You won’t crack, but if you do, so what? It’s okay. You can crack and just keep on going.

      A thousand blessings.

    9. Elizabeth on March 1st, 2008 4:30 pm

      Yay! A baby! So happy for you and your partner! I suspected this when I saw the books you were reading over on the facebook book application thing-y. Congrats! I have never been pregnant, but it has always been a huge worry/preoccupation/interest of mine and I found Mothering magazine and Having a Baby Naturally to be reassuring. But, as my mom says, “Your opinions don’t really count until you go through it.”

      Best wishes! Elizabeth :)

    10. guufychica on March 4th, 2008 2:28 pm

      Congrats! Isn’t it amazing that your body is prepared to give birth in 9 months while you nurture a few cells? And isn’t it amazing that most people want to do it again? I have complete faith in you… And don’t read medical stuff from the practitioner’s point - too technical and too sterile (one of the most sterile thing I saw was an EMT training video of a birth!)

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