What Does it Take to Be a Good Person?

One of the things I keep thinking about is how my child (who will be black and multi-racial) is going to perceive himself in relation to others. I wish I could take my child to a place where he would not learn the self-loathing and inferiority complex passed on to so many black boys and girls in the US. I also don’t want him to adopt false pride and a superiority complex that a life of privilege (be it color, money, education) can convey. I just worry about these things, and more. I don’t want him to buy into the crap. Part of my worry is that I’m 31 years old and it’s hard for me to make sense of the world. Maybe we just can’t. Who’s right, who’s wrong? What’s the best way? What’s possible?I want him to be joyful, but not clueless. It’s a little frightening to think that I’m going to be the model for this little person, that what I do will mean so much more than I can say. I also don’t want to crush this child with expectations. The world is made up of many kinds of people, with varying capacities and temperaments.

Comments

4 Responses to “What Does it Take to Be a Good Person?”

More on Race (And Gender) for Kids on March 14th, 2008 3:01 pm

[...] What Does it Take to Be a Good Person? [...]
La - msviswan on March 15th, 2008 10:11 pm

My daughter’s father and I are both black (med. brown complexion). However, my daughter was born with a very very light complexion and a soft curly hair texture. People always assumed she was biracial, in fact some still do. She is now 10, but up until a couple years ago, I think she grew up feeling like she was different from the other black kids regarding race. I live in the caribb, so she has gotten lots of colorism attention over the years, sometimes preferential, or sometimes resentment.

As she got older she became darker from dealing with the sun everyday for P.E. I think she feels a little more “secure” now about herself and her placement among her black peers. I think in a predominately white society, things would have been different. Not saying better or worse, just a different struggle concept to deal with all together.

My father is actually biracial (his mother was black and his father was white), but he always identifies himself as a black man and nothing else (it would be pratical to do this in a black region). So I think it has a lot to do with the society and maybe the parental environment the child is living in (in most cases). I have to do more thinking on this. Interesting.
La - msviswan on March 16th, 2008 10:14 pm

Hey I just re-read your post. I think I totally changed the subject (I need to stop reading blogs late at night when I’m sleepy). Sorry :p
hafidha sofia on March 17th, 2008 12:51 am

La - no, I think you just followed my train of thought to your own station. =) I was on board with you. Colorism is very real. I haven’t noticed it much in my own family as we are all about the same shade, but I know my grandmother felt some of it as she is much darker than her sister. I’ve also seen it play out in other families. For my husband, who looks Chinese/Japanese, he had some very diff experiences than his brother, who is much darker skinned (as brown as me) and looks Latino.

Overall, though, I don’t have negative feelings about this. I just want to be mentally prepared - as much as I can be.