Never Tell Your Wife …

… Catfish photo, courtesy of the Eldredge Elementary School (RI) website. that she looks like a catfish - unless you’re okay with the fallout. Sometimes my husband says the darndest things, and I don’t mind. Sure, I was puzzled - but oddly flattered - when he said that my face reminded him of a bee’s. Okay … what do bee’s faces look like, anyway? But I’ve always liked bees as much as any insect, so whatever. Then, when I started growing my hair out again, he told me I looked like a lioness. That agreed with my idealized notion of myself, so I kissed him for that one. But then, when I had braids, he put one of them off to the side of my nose, and remarked playfully, “You look like … a catfish.” Needless to say, THAT was a mistake.

Instantly, I recalled childhood memories of giant, murky colored catfish with blubbery, hairy lips lying dead on ice at the fish markets in Queens. The association (in my mind) of catfish with bottom feeders and cheap eats, made my face contort. . I kept sputtering, “A catfish? A CATfish? What?! You think I look like a … What are you … what are you … what … how can you SAY THAT?!”

He didn’t know what hit him. It wasn’t until I Googled up a photograph of a catfish for the LH, that I saw a little light go on behind his eyes, as he realized the error of his ways. Now, although I’ve forgiven him for it, and was never genuinely angry, I love to bring it up every few days. “You told me I look like a catfish.” And he always protests, “No, I said you reminded me of a catfish ….” Mmm hmm.

I’m thinking that for Christmas, I’ll put a photograph of a catfish in one of those nice “My Darling Wife” frames, and give it to him.

*photo of catfish courtesy of webpage of Eldredge Elementary School in Rhode Island.

Comments

4 Responses to “Never Tell Your Wife …”

Lizard Eater on May 25th, 2008 2:38 pm

(sputter, sputter, sputter …)

Grin … oh yeah, that goes in the “never going to forget” file.

“Yes, I may have wrecked the car, but remember when you compared me to a catfish???”

(EVIL grin.)
hafidha sofia on May 25th, 2008 2:49 pm

LE - EXACTLY! Maybe I should send him a thank you card for that “get out of jail free” token he gave me. Naah.
Dan on May 26th, 2008 8:24 pm

Well, it wasn’t the best analogy for him to use, I admit, but some catfish are pretty attractive. Up here in New England, we have Horned Pout — a neat, attractive, slender brown fish that can grow quite large but the ones I’ve seen are mostly less than a foot long. I kind of like their whiskers — gives them a rakish look. Watch out for that dorsal fin, though — any angler knows that if you get a scratch from that sharp dorsal fin, it will get infected and hurt like the blazes.

Of course, I’m probably just trying to apologize for him… knowing all the stupid, stupid things I’ve said to my sweetheart over the past eighteen years.
h sofia on May 27th, 2008 4:21 pm

Dan - mm HMMM. Of course, hubby is a godsend, which is why I take so much delight in recounting that he called me a catfish! Apparently I’ve got to have something to bewail; I’m just glad this is the worst.