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    • Apr

    9

    A Crock Pot Life

    Filed Under friends, from the heart, inspiration, life changes, quotes, spiritual practice | 4 Comments

    Last week I met Kendall, a UU whose blog I’ve been reading for a year or more. Kendall moved to Portland several months ago, and it was such a privilege to speak with her in person. That she took time out of her life to have tea with me is a little mind-boggling. In a nutshell, she is as interesting and sincere as her blog posts would suggest, and I hope we see more of each other over the coming years. 

    In one of her most recent posts, The Life Not Taken, she writes about a visit to Ashland, Oregon (home of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival), and the life she could have led: 

    Wild as my fantasies have been, rich though my imagination is, I’d have never cooked up the extremely unlikely and utterly eccentric life I have had–and am still having–if I’d been running it.

    Kendall is not exaggerating - the book she’s writing based on her life’s experiences won’t be boring.  A year or two ago I think I’d have thought of this and felt regret about my life - why wasn’t I more exciting? Why hadn’t I taken more chances? Could I ever be a “great” person if nothing tragic, traumatic, or soul-searing has happened to me? I would have felt panic about the whole thing. I would have felt less valuable than people with more interesting lives. 

    If I were to paint a picture of my life right now, it would be of a pot left to simmer on the stovetop for days in an empty house. That’s how my life feels most of the time, and I’ve accepted it. I don’t see it as deficient. We are all capable of different things. I’m learning more about my limitations, and as I stop berating myself for not being other than my own nature, I loosen up. In response to Kendall’s blog, I commented, in part: 

    Me and my pathetic (if that can be meant non-negatively) little life. I’ve never been one to take chances …. And I’m afraid to fail. So things haven’t been exciting or very tumultuous for me. Unless something traumatic happens, or I decide for some inexplicable reason to throw everything away and overhaul my personality, I don’t see that changing. So I’m trying to settle into myself and break things down into many, tiny, wonderful parts. Because that’s all I seem to be able to process anyway. I can’t cope with too much.

    I’ve had to accept a lot of things that I’d earmarked as “bad.” Messiness. Moodiness. Shyness. Low energy. Depression. Short attention span. Physical ailments. Large teeth. A big booty. The list could go on …. Not too long ago I was reading a book about writing, written by a woman who had been diagnosed with something like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Initially, she tried to persist in her busy life, and “beat” her CFS. She tried to cure herself so that she could keep on doing what she’d always done. Eventually, she realized that she needed to accept her changed capacity for work and travel.  She began to shape her life activities around who she was, instead of distressing herself by trying to be someone who could live the life she’d fashioned for herself when her health was different.

    What an A-ha! moment for me, so bent on self improvement, and so sad about my chronic status as underachiever. Of course, I have to admit that I’m still learning the lesson every day.  

    Popularity: 39% [?]

    Jan

    6

    PETA Honors a UU Minister

    Filed Under friends, people, spiritual practice, uu culture | 4 Comments

    The Rev. Susan Manker-Seale - mother of my friend Kat - was just named by PETA as “Most Progressive Religious Leader” in their 5th Annual Proggy Awards. I’m not a vegan (by any means), but I thought this was cool. Press release and link to a local (Tucson) article below:

    Progressive Pastor Gives Meat-Eating ‘Environmentalists’ Food for Thought

    For Immediate Release:
    January 4, 2008

    Contact:
    Melissa Karpel 757-622-7382

    Tucson, Ariz. - For her inspired guidance of her church’s Green Sanctuary Action Plan, which includes a focus on Earth-friendly vegan foods, Rev. Susan Manker-Seale of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Northwest Tucson has won the Most Progressive Religious Leader category in PETA’s 5th Annual Proggy Awards. Rev. Manker-Seale will receive a framed certificate and will be featured on PETA’s award-winning Web site PETA.org. PETA’s Proggy Awards (”Proggy” is for “progress”) recognize animal-friendly achievements in commerce and culture.

    Under Rev. Manker-Seale’s leadership, the church’s Green Sanctuary Action Plan has promoted sustainable living through everything from recycling and water conservation to vegan cooking classes and protecting nearby Ironwood Forest. There is an emphasis on vegetarian eating at all congregation events–and with good reason. According to a 2006 U.N. report, raising animals for food emits 40 percent more global-warming gases than all the cars, trucks, SUVs, planes, and ships in the world combined. The report goes on to say that meat is “one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global.” And researchers at the University of Chicago have determined that going vegan is 50 percent more effective at fighting global warming than switching from a standard car to a hybrid.

    “Rev. Manker-Seale’s devotion to her church, her community, and all beings is an inspiration to her congregation and everyone else who cares about our planet,” says PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich. “Going vegan is not only the best thing you can do for animals and your health, it’s also the single most important action you can take to reduce your ‘footprint’ on the environment.”

    This year, there were 20 Proggy winners, including wildlife-friendly innovators, a restaurant, and producers and marketers of vegan foods, shoes, and cruelty-free personal-care products.

    For more information and to read about the other Proggy winners, please visit PETA.org.
    Note from Kat: Also see: http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/relatedstories/219236.php for a Tucson article about it that has quotes from my mom too..

    Popularity: 24% [?]

    Oct

    8

    Thinking About Food While Fasting

    Filed Under friends, inspiration, islam, local, new things, spiritual practice | 5 Comments

    Quote:

    O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint. ~Qur’an, Al Baqarah (2), verse 183

    When I received the Facebook invite to the Interfaith Fast for Peace, I accepted without hesitation. It’s been years since I’ve fasted for spiritual reasons, and this was a good reason to try it again.

    When I mentioned to the LH that I’d be fasting today, he hastily made it clear that he had no interest in doing this and he WOULD be eating. That kind of a response is very typical, in my experience. As a Muslim, people would say to me, “That’s AMAZING, but there’s no way I could do that. Just no way.” Although I hadn’t asked them to fast, they insisted that they were incapable of it. I knew this was untrue; I’d been fasting since elementary school, and if an active, growing 10 year old could do it, so could most adults.

    But it was very curious to watch people talk themselves out of the possibility.

    This morning, I woke up at 3:30, ate some lettuce wraps, pieces of baked potato, and a Medifast shake. Went back to sleep at 5:15, and awoke again at 9. Off to the chiropractor for another session with the Pro Adjuster machine, and back home to do laundry, cleaning, and poetry reading. I feel good: clear-headed, calm, and physically unencumbered. My habit is to eat breakfast within an hour of waking up, but I’m not hungry.

    Thirst might become a problem, as I can be fanatical about water consumption. But I know I won’t die, and that’s more than can be said for 16,000 children today.*

    On my way home from the chiropractor, the radio was tuned to KBOO.fm (90.7), an excellent community station. I happened to catch the last 15 minutes of the show, HealthWatch; the guest was Joel Salatin, of Polyface Farms, author of Everything I Want to Do is Illegal and Holy Cows and Hog Heaven. I really enjoyed listening to him. One issue the host brought up that I’d never thought of before was how most people are referring to produce only when they talk about “eating seasonally”. Salatin explained that there is a way to eat meat seasonally, too. For example, beef is a “warming” meat, so it makes sense to eat it in the colder months (barbecues in winter, perhaps?); and birds lay their eggs in the Spring, and chicken is a “cooling” meat. However, the biggest demand for poultry is the fall-winter period, when birds lay fewer eggs because of the decreasing amount of sunlight. It was all very interesting and I’d like to learn more.

    Of course, the crux of fasting is mindfulness. Although I participated in the Interfaith Fast out of a desire to be connected with others concerned about peace, it’s turned out that I’m reminded of how our identities are linked very closely to what we eat, and how we eat. Even a person who says they could never NOT eat for 14 hours, is basing that on a perception they have of themselves, not reality.

    Surprisingly, this experience has led me back to the path of seeing food choices and eating habits as actions with social consequences. Working on the Real Wealth of Portland project has inspired me to do things right now to create the world I want to live in. So today is the 8th, and I’ve decided to make the 8th of every month a day for fasting, and for learning about eating in a more sustainable way. And of course, to do something for peace, and to alleviate hunger. Today I donated to Oxfam, and I “discovered” (just call me Columbus!) a local farm that’s just a bike ride from my house. I’ll pick up my produce from there today instead of the supermarket. It feels like baby steps in a good direction.


    *This statistic is from Bread.org.

    Popularity: 33% [?]

    Oct

    6

    Movies, Race, and My Puerile Joke of the Day

    Filed Under friends, humor, lil things, movies, pop culture | 3 Comments

    For her birthday, the LH and I decided to buy our friend - a Russian immigrant - some of the movies that we grew up with as kids of the 80s and early 90s.  She was raised in the US, but her family was very religious and she never watched television or movies until she went off to university. When we went to Disneyland earlier this year with her, she didn’t know who any of the characters were, except Mickey Mouse.

    So, as part of our American Childhood Pop Culture “Starter-Kit” we picked up The Goonies, The Princess Bride, Mary Poppins, The Muppet Movie (the LH’s choice), and ET. (We also wanted A Neverending Story, but the store didn’t have it.)

    The LH started quoting the Princess Bride, and then became concerned that some of the verbal humor will fly right over her head.  I pointed out that we enjoyed those jokes as adolescents and so very likely she’ll get them too. Movies that made us laugh (or cry) as kids should definitely be broad enough to register on her radar. He said okay. Then we started talking about the silly jokes that kids tell each other, and he related this one to me:

    Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    A: Elef-ino!

    That just cracked me up. He says it’s a common joke, but I never heard it!

    Depending on the success of this movie sampler, I think that for Christmas I want to get her a collection of movies about people of color in the US. There’s an HBO movie version of Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, and I wonder if it’s any good. I’m thinking  specifically of when she told me that she would “LOVE” to be an Indian because “they get everything for free.”  The LH says we should also get her Roots.

    Popularity: 27% [?]

    Oct

    4

    The Better Half

    Filed Under friends, from the heart, plans, small happinesses, solitude | 1 Comment

    Personally, I’m pleased with the transition to autumn, but I’m concerned for several of my friends and relations, who find the shorter, overcast days and drizzle hard to bear. This Fall I need to step up my game as a friend who extends herself. Normally the wintry months depress me, too, but this year feels very different.

    I’m looking forward to being home this season, reading, cooking, sitting by the (gas) fire, sorting out the unnecessary aspects of my life, framing photos, decorating for the holidays - in a word, homemaking. And there’s also the new activities: climbing the rock wall at the gym - which scared me so much at first!, stepping to Dance Dance Revolution (now for the Wii), and writing in groups. Right now is a comfortable time. And for the first time in many years, I feel no anxiety about any of this because, even though I’ll be doing most of it on my own (with the exception of DDR), I know the LH will be around, going through his motions while I go through mine.

    Not very long ago, when I was single, and would cry myself to sleep at night because it seemed there was simply no one for me - I promised myself that if by some miracle my fortune should change, I’d never forget what that felt like.

    Looking back, I’m still astonished at how quickly things did change. The cliche about love showing up “when you least expect it” turned out to be true in my case, and what once felt hopeless suddenly was real. I became one half of a couple! I still remember clearly how it was before, but it’s like remembering my childhood. My heart feels like it’s passed through a lot of places since then.

    Recently I had lunch with a friend who was feeling particularly down about not being coupled - I describe it as “not being anyone’s Number One” - and I started to feel a little panicky. Who did I know that would be good for her? She should be snatched up already! She’s clearly so awesome! I should have more single male friends!? I should throw some parties! And so on. But when I looked at her, I recognized her expression. There was nothing I could do right then to make her have a lover or boyfriend or husband; all I could do was spend time with her and remind her that she was wonderful, adorable, and fun to be with. And that her being those things wasn’t because I said so, nor were they dependent on anyone else’s say so - she just was, even though not all the right people know it yet.

    What can you do? I’ll leave the matchmaking to great people like Patti Novak. I’ll continue to learn to be a good friend, helped along by the insights of the LH, who patiently aids me in eliminating “should” from my psychological vocabulary. I will throw some of my not-signature, mild-mannered parties. And pick up the phone more. And be attentive. When times are good at home, it’s easy to feel self-sufficient, let days slide by, and see my friends less. But I want to be like those people who pray even more when life is wonderful and they want for nothing.

    Popularity: 22% [?]

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