Never Tell Your Wife …

Filed Under humor, lil things, love | 4 Comments

… Catfish photo, courtesy of the Eldredge Elementary School (RI) website. that she looks like a catfish - unless you’re okay with the fallout. Sometimes my husband says the darndest things, and I don’t mind. Sure, I was puzzled - but oddly flattered - when he said that my face reminded him of a bee’s. Okay … what do bee’s faces look like, anyway? But I’ve always liked bees as much as any insect, so whatever. Then, when I started growing my hair out again, he told me I looked like a lioness. That agreed with my idealized notion of myself, so I kissed him for that one. But then, when I had braids, he put one of them off to the side of my nose, and remarked playfully, “You look like … a catfish.” Needless to say, THAT was a mistake.

Instantly, I recalled childhood memories of giant, murky colored catfish with blubbery, hairy lips lying dead on ice at the fish markets in Queens. The association (in my mind) of catfish with bottom feeders and cheap eats, made my face contort. . I kept sputtering, “A catfish? A CATfish? What?! You think I look like a … What are you … what are you … what … how can you SAY THAT?!”

He didn’t know what hit him. It wasn’t until I Googled up a photograph of a catfish for the LH, that I saw a little light go on behind his eyes, as he realized the error of his ways. Now, although I’ve forgiven him for it, and was never genuinely angry, I love to bring it up every few days. “You told me I look like a catfish.” And he always protests, “No, I said you reminded me of a catfish ….” Mmm hmm.

I’m thinking that for Christmas, I’ll put a photograph of a catfish in one of those nice “My Darling Wife” frames, and give it to him.

*photo of catfish courtesy of webpage of Eldredge Elementary School in Rhode Island.

Popularity: 34% [?]

May

25

The Birds

Filed Under lil things, local, new things, small happinesses | 3 Comments

Winter Wren, courtesy of Wake Robin Learning Center And yet another new preoccupation - one as mysterious as my sudden appreciation for the color purple, and seahorses: I’ve become enamored of the bird songs enveloping my house during the daylight hours. The sounds aren’t new, but my love for them is. Some mornings I wake up and just lie still in the bed, growing more and more breathless as their songs increase. Throughout the day, I’ll pause - half disbelieving. It’s as though someone is piping bird calls directly into my house. I feel like a Who.

I mention the birds to hubby, and my family across the street, but no one else seems to be thinking about them. Further investigation is needed, but through online research of photography and mp3 files, I believe that we are surrounded by warblers, brown creepers, robins, chickadees, wonderful winter wrens, a small number of blue jays, and a handful of hummingbirds. And possibly sparrows. Previously, they were to me, “chit chit” birds, “swee” birds,” “trilling,” and “weow whistling” birds. If I even thought that far. I am keeping my ears open for a meadowlark, though I think I may have to venture to a nearby forest for that one.

As both a city girl and a woman who operates almost entirely at the conscious level, I have no real notion of what all this “signifies,” if anything. I’ll continue to explore this interest … until its prominence in my mind wanes or leads to something more. It is really strange to think you know yourself, only to be possessed in this way.

*photo of Winter Wren, from the Wake Robin Learning Center at NWNature.net.

Popularity: 36% [?]

Apr

15

Reports from the Home Front

Filed Under being creative, lil things, love, new things, people, plans, pregnancy | 11 Comments

Stuff #1: Well, not only did he not know who Cyndi Lauper was, or recognize the blind, black man with braids as Stevie Wonder, but today I discovered that my husband doesn’t know who Sean Penn, W.E.B. Dubois, or Langston Hughes are. Or Bette Davis.

But in all truthfulness, I’d never heard of Richard Feynman, Alan Turing, Gauss, Heisenberg, Von Neumann or the Bernoullis before I met him… so we both have our weak areas. His is popular culture and Black History; mine is physics, mathematics, and computer science. You can decide which is worse.

In any case, we are learning from each other. Hopefully, our child(ren) will learn from us both.

***

Stuff #2: I’m learning to swim! After 3 lessons, and 3 additional sessions (on my own), I can “kick” and “fin” on both my stomach and my back, without any assistance. So if I fall into a small body of water I shouldn’t drown. Although this has never been a real danger for me, knowing this feels really great. I love going to the pool. I finally got over my swimsuit fears (well, mostly; my suit is a short skirt and midriff-concealing top), and don’t care what people think of my body. So I guess that’s modesty without the self-consciousness, which is all I ask.

Yesterday, the midwife told me it was okay to get in the hot tub so long as I didn’t let myself cook; that made my DAY. I love a jetted hot tub. Learning to swim has been an empowering experience; every day I see progress, and become more bold. Plus, I’m doing my part to defy the stereotype that black people can’t swim. (Click here for an interesting article on that annoyingly persistent myth - most of my family believes it, and they all swim!)

***

Stuff #3: Picked up Murakami’s Elephant Stories (at reader Hotei’s suggestion), as well as several Saramago novels I’ve not yet read, including his latest, Seeing. I’ve decided to write a few short children’s books for my own kid(s) based on people in my and Michael’s families. Getting the illustrations done will be the biggest challenge, but my brother-in-law is an artist, and one of my brothers is very good, too. I’m teaching myself to draw, but it will be a while before I can do anything substantial.

I learned more about my predecessors … my granddad (an aspiring writer, who wrote numerous novels that were never published) wrote a letter to W.E.B. Dubois, who wrote back to him. The letters are published in a book of Dubois’ correspondence. This granddad’s mom, Rebecca, was a labor organizer in Panama, and met Paul Robeson (another person Michael’s never heard of). And her mom, Mary Jane - the Jamaican woman who married the Scotsman - wasn’t of African descent, as I’d assumed; she was Arawak. Rebecca was a pretty incredible woman. Discovering things about my recent ancestors has been such a gift. I feel more grounded, richer … as though I have something to give to my children apart from myself.

I also learned that Michael’s paternal ancestors from Spain were Sephardic (Jews). When I told him this, his response was the typical wisecracking: “So there’s still a chance I’ll be rich!” Oh lord. He doesn’t care a whit about ancestry or family history. In some things, we couldn’t be more different.

So many stories …. If you’re looking for stories, start at home.

Popularity: 55% [?]

Mar

11

Chemistry.com Ads

Filed Under lil things | 2 Comments

Can someone tell me why those Chemistry.com ads that depict eHarmony “rejects” always feature someone who seems kind of … crazy? Maybe their point is that if you are “quirky” or wacky, Chemistry.com is for you ….

Full disclosure: I signed up for eHarmony.com and was accepted (despite being a bit eccentric). But everyone they matched me up with seemed boring and we never had anything to talk about. The weird thing is that my now-husband was also signed up for eHarmony.com (and I’m sure his profile would have been pretty boring) around the same time. But they would never have put us together because he is five years younger than I am.

I also have a friend who was rejected by eHarmony. She is Christian, young, blonde with a great figure, a college graduate, a successful business woman, and (now) happily married for several years. So I’m not tooting any horns for eHarmony.I just don’t understand the marketing strategy of, “We’ll take all the folks eHarmony wouldn’t take; so sign on up!”

How about some statistics showing how satisfied people are with YOUR “instant matches?” At least eHarmony won’t take your money if they don’t think they can find a match for you.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Feb

27

Cheering Myself Up

Filed Under from the heart, lil things | 9 Comments

Despite the beautiful (60 degrees and sunny) weather we’ve been experiencing here in my neck of the woods, I’ve been pretty depressed and useless. I’m behind in everything, from laundry to schoolwork. There are at least half a dozen voice mails on my cell phone, and I didn’t collect the mail for a week. I feel worst when I’m dry heaving, and best when I’m snuggled up next to my sweetie watching Rutger Hauer be all awesome in Blade Runner.

Yes, my entity-thinking self is not so bravely “coping,” and eating 6-8 cup sized meals a day. I research Montessori philosophy, which embodies incrementalist thinking. Is there hope for me, as an adult? The little lima bean is now a plum, and I’m determined that by the time it becomes a grapefruit I will have strategized my way out of these doldrums.

In the meantime, this video made me happy. I think the little girl looks so much like Peacebang.