Sumer is I-cumin In …

Filed Under happiness, pregnancy | 6 Comments

Towels hanging to dry at La Montana School in Guatemala, 2005

Quick updates - Was without computer for a week, then my grandmother (Nanny) has been in the hospital since Saturday (hopefully she’ll come home tomorrow). An ultrasound last week gave us the good news of a baby GIRL.

While Baby Osuna is kickboxing her way to rock-hard abs, hubby and I have narrowed the list of possible names to less than five. And I am at 20 weeks and counting, which means: halfway there! Was also thrilled to discover that the 30 pound weight gain in the first three months has slowed down to only four pounds in the last four weeks. I was very much afraid of gaining 100 pounds during the pregnancy - and not just out of vanity: I’m not due till the end of September, and we don’t have air conditioning in this house, which has many large windows and south/west exposure. Right now it isn’t even 70 degrees, but the t-stat reads 79.

The next 15 days in the Portland area are forecasted to be warm and sunny. It began today. Tomorrow we see sunshine and 87 degrees. Then 91 degrees. Then 80s and high 70s through the end of the month. Time for lemonade, smoothies, fruit salads, and ice cream - can you tell where my mind is these days?

I will resume posting again soon - maybe even this week! I have really missed it. For now, I have to get back to paying the monthly bills, listening to John Mayer, and thanking my lucky stars that I have a partner who is cooking me up a delicious dinner of rib-eye and portobellos.

***Sumer is I-cumin In

(lyrics translated from 14th c. times)

Summer is coming in, loudly sings the cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo….
The seed grows; the meadow blossoms, and the woods alivens anew.
The ewe bleats after the lamb; the cow lows after the calf;
The bull leaps; the goat capers*; merrily sing cuckoo!
Well sing you, cuckoo–don’t ever stop now.
Sing cuckoo, now..

Popularity: 38% [?]

Apr

15

Reports from the Home Front

Filed Under being creative, lil things, love, new things, people, plans, pregnancy | 11 Comments

Stuff #1: Well, not only did he not know who Cyndi Lauper was, or recognize the blind, black man with braids as Stevie Wonder, but today I discovered that my husband doesn’t know who Sean Penn, W.E.B. Dubois, or Langston Hughes are. Or Bette Davis.

But in all truthfulness, I’d never heard of Richard Feynman, Alan Turing, Gauss, Heisenberg, Von Neumann or the Bernoullis before I met him… so we both have our weak areas. His is popular culture and Black History; mine is physics, mathematics, and computer science. You can decide which is worse.

In any case, we are learning from each other. Hopefully, our child(ren) will learn from us both.

***

Stuff #2: I’m learning to swim! After 3 lessons, and 3 additional sessions (on my own), I can “kick” and “fin” on both my stomach and my back, without any assistance. So if I fall into a small body of water I shouldn’t drown. Although this has never been a real danger for me, knowing this feels really great. I love going to the pool. I finally got over my swimsuit fears (well, mostly; my suit is a short skirt and midriff-concealing top), and don’t care what people think of my body. So I guess that’s modesty without the self-consciousness, which is all I ask.

Yesterday, the midwife told me it was okay to get in the hot tub so long as I didn’t let myself cook; that made my DAY. I love a jetted hot tub. Learning to swim has been an empowering experience; every day I see progress, and become more bold. Plus, I’m doing my part to defy the stereotype that black people can’t swim. (Click here for an interesting article on that annoyingly persistent myth - most of my family believes it, and they all swim!)

***

Stuff #3: Picked up Murakami’s Elephant Stories (at reader Hotei’s suggestion), as well as several Saramago novels I’ve not yet read, including his latest, Seeing. I’ve decided to write a few short children’s books for my own kid(s) based on people in my and Michael’s families. Getting the illustrations done will be the biggest challenge, but my brother-in-law is an artist, and one of my brothers is very good, too. I’m teaching myself to draw, but it will be a while before I can do anything substantial.

I learned more about my predecessors … my granddad (an aspiring writer, who wrote numerous novels that were never published) wrote a letter to W.E.B. Dubois, who wrote back to him. The letters are published in a book of Dubois’ correspondence. This granddad’s mom, Rebecca, was a labor organizer in Panama, and met Paul Robeson (another person Michael’s never heard of). And her mom, Mary Jane - the Jamaican woman who married the Scotsman - wasn’t of African descent, as I’d assumed; she was Arawak. Rebecca was a pretty incredible woman. Discovering things about my recent ancestors has been such a gift. I feel more grounded, richer … as though I have something to give to my children apart from myself.

I also learned that Michael’s paternal ancestors from Spain were Sephardic (Jews). When I told him this, his response was the typical wisecracking: “So there’s still a chance I’ll be rich!” Oh lord. He doesn’t care a whit about ancestry or family history. In some things, we couldn’t be more different.

So many stories …. If you’re looking for stories, start at home.

Popularity: 55% [?]

Mar

13

What Does it Take to Be a Good Person?

Filed Under pregnancy, questions | 4 Comments

One of the things I keep thinking about is how my child (who will be black and multi-racial) is going to perceive himself in relation to others. I wish I could take my child to a place where he would not learn the self-loathing and inferiority complex passed on to so many black boys and girls in the US. I also don’t want him to adopt false pride and a superiority complex that a life of privilege (be it color, money, education) can convey. I just worry about these things, and more. I don’t want him to buy into the crap. Part of my worry is that I’m 31 years old and it’s hard for me to make sense of the world. Maybe we just can’t. Who’s right, who’s wrong? What’s the best way? What’s possible?I want him to be joyful, but not clueless. It’s a little frightening to think that I’m going to be the model for this little person, that what I do will mean so much more than I can say. I also don’t want to crush this child with expectations. The world is made up of many kinds of people, with varying capacities and temperaments.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Feb

10

Grumpy But Not Ill-Tempered

Filed Under new things, pregnancy | 10 Comments

Warning: Pregnancy post ahead.

I am tired of being pregnant. Oh wait, maybe I’m just tired. Yes, that’s it. I’m really, really, really frickin’ tired.

But I can live with that; I’ll take a(nother) nap. Then I made the mistake of reading an online discussion about differences in pain and recovery times for C-section vs. vaginal births. WTF did I do THAT for? That was horrible. Now I’m just feeling … terrified! I’ve never been hospitalized in my life. The strongest medication I’ve ever taken is laughing gas, and a single dose of Vicodin after having a few teeth removed. What if I just totally crack? How on earth do ~~people~~ women do this?

I was feeling so confident yesterday, but today … not at all.

Popularity: 100% [?]