Because of Me, He’s an Atheist?

Filed Under people, questions, quotes, religion, spiritual practice | 7 Comments

My husband informed me that before we met, he was agnostic. But due to what he’s learned from me about religion over the last 2+ years, he’s now an atheist. Wow. And I thought he’d influenced me to be an atheist.

I’m not sure what to think about this. Apparently, his attitude about God-belief used to be one of “whatever.” He didn’t see God as something that could be proved or disproved, and therefore chalked it up as irrelevant. For me, God was always very important. So losing my faith in God as I understood it in my mid-20s was life-changing for me. Trying to “make sense” of the world as a post-believer, means I haven’t let go of religion, or even notions of God.

The best explanation of this I’ve heard yet was provided by Hubert Dreyfus, in his first Berkeley lecture on existentialism. Here is my transcription of what he says about why Camus isn’t an existentialist, according to his definition:

Camus says he isn’t. He says he’s a pagan. I think that’s right. That is - I think, all the existentialists are within the Judeo-Christian tradition … they are in opposition to a culture that has as one of its fundamental beliefs that there is a supreme being that makes everything intelligible, that gives moral law … and thanks to the supreme being, we can find out what to do and everything will make sense, and not be contradictory and so forth, and the culture lived off that for a long time …. we can call that absolute - this absolute source of meaning, absolute authority. You can count on it to make sense of the world, and make sense of your life.

Now Camus certainly denies there is any such Absolute … he’s definitely against the whole Judeo-Christian tradition, but he thinks that the way you should fix it is just get over the problem of seeking an absolute. So, reduce your demands … why should we think that there’s going to be THAT kind of answer, why should we need that kind of answer? Can’t we just appreciate the little things? Lie on the beach in Algeria as at the end of The Stranger, appreciate all the way the world is, even though you’re going to die … but … that’s a kind of pre-Christian attitude, that’s why he says he’s a pagan ….

Our culture has gotten addicted - Nietzsche would say, we’re sort of absolute junkies; that is, we’ve gotten so used to understanding everything in terms of a supreme being and creation and so forth, that you can’t just get over it. Camus’ idea is you just get over it, you stop expecting the kind of answer that we thought we had for 2000 years. And that’s pre-Christian as I say ….

[The existentialists (Kierkegaard, Dostoevsky, Sartre, Heidegger)] - they all think that though it turns out there isn’t any such absolute, we have become defined in terms of the need for it; because once we thought we had it, and it gave us this amazing world in which everything made sense, and we knew what to do and we knew that virtue was rewarded and vice was punished …. But when Nietzsce says God is dead … unlike Camus … he thinks it is the most disastrous and frightening and terrible thing you could possibly experience and discover - because he’s not a pre-Christian or pagan, he’s a post-Christian, he’s somebody writing after we got hooked on this absolute supreme being.

The most serious thing we have to deal with is that the supreme being kind of absolute doesn’t exist anymore.

So if you’ve read that far (which I hope you did), that pretty much sums up where I’m at, and it also explains why Nietzsche, and writers inspired by Nietzsche have been so instrumental for me.

In our time together, I’ve managed to impress upon my now-husband the centrality of religion to many people’s lives, and now he seems genuinely alarmed. His eyes are opening to the ways people call on their faith to justify their lives, to sort themselves out, make even small daily decisions, rule nations, and so on. Now he sees religious belief as a threatening state of mind, whereas in the past he saw it as a mostly harmless personal matter.

I’m not sure how to feel about this. Did I unwittingly draw him away from a more innocent, pre-Christian attitude while I’ve been busy coping with the tear in my own religious fabric? And another question I have is what is the next step? I’m asking this of myself - what is my next “step” in belief about the nature of things. Am I going to continue to try to “make sense of the world?”

The conscious part of me says there is nothing to make sense of: The purpose of life is to find and make meaning. This is what I’ve learned from the writings of people who have lived through the horrors of war (particularly the Holocaust). When I isolate my thoughts to that, I feel a tremendous amount of peace. But the unconscious part of me is still grounded in an absolute mindset, this belief that somewhere, there is an answer, and that if I purify myself enough and educate myself enough I might be able to glimpse it with a mythical clarity - even for a moment.

I don’t know. Whatever happens for me, I now feel a greater sense of responsibility - knowing that whatever path I walk, my husband will be with me.

Popularity: 34% [?]

Mar

13

What Does it Take to Be a Good Person?

Filed Under pregnancy, questions | 4 Comments

One of the things I keep thinking about is how my child (who will be black and multi-racial) is going to perceive himself in relation to others. I wish I could take my child to a place where he would not learn the self-loathing and inferiority complex passed on to so many black boys and girls in the US. I also don’t want him to adopt false pride and a superiority complex that a life of privilege (be it color, money, education) can convey. I just worry about these things, and more. I don’t want him to buy into the crap. Part of my worry is that I’m 31 years old and it’s hard for me to make sense of the world. Maybe we just can’t. Who’s right, who’s wrong? What’s the best way? What’s possible?I want him to be joyful, but not clueless. It’s a little frightening to think that I’m going to be the model for this little person, that what I do will mean so much more than I can say. I also don’t want to crush this child with expectations. The world is made up of many kinds of people, with varying capacities and temperaments.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Mar

4

Dream Homes

Filed Under capitalism, class, islam, questions | 3 Comments

What is this strange phenomenon of endless upgrades and dream homes? I think of a former acquaintance who spent $50,000 remodeling her kitchen, although she never cooked anything more complicated than macaroni and cheese.

Occasionally I’ll watch a show on HGTV (Home & Garden Television) called My House is Worth What?. The scenario is this: a person or couple wants to know the value of the upgrades they’ve made to their home so they can decide whether to put it on the market. Based on the shows I’ve seen, the occupants have typically lived in the house for one to six years, and have spent much of that time pouring tens of thousands (sometimes hundreds of thousands) of dollars into the house. Why? So they can “flip it” and move on up to their “dream house.” Sometimes the houses they’re looking to unload are 3,000 sq. ft. mini mansions with gourmet kitchens, and marble soaking tubs, professional landscaping, and media rooms. And I’m thinking - what the hell does their “dream house” look like? And will they really live in it “forever?”

Years ago when I was much younger, I used to subscribe to Architectural Digest; I loved reading about the designs and locations, and imagining the spaces beyond what the photographs could show. This practice increased my yearning for impossibly beautiful abodes, much the same way that reading fashion magazines increases the lust for an impossibly perfect body. But then I traveled to Spain, and made my way to Andalucia, where the Moorish influence is still very evident. There I saw palaces and former mosques in which the Muslim elite were clearly trying to create Allah’s Paradise on earth. Nowhere was this more obvious for me than at the Alcazar Gardens in Sevilla, where one could easily imagine dwelling forever in bliss.

Standing there, in front of a white pillar that read, in Arabic and Spanish, No hay mas dios que dios (la ilaaha illa Allah) - there is no God but God - I sensed the irony. They had this here even whilst they slaughtered their own siblings for riches. After returning home, I canceled my subscription to Architectural Digest.

Maybe it’s the result of my Muslim upbringing, through which I was taught to believe no one could ever “deserve” Paradise - because one couldn’t do enough good in a lifetime to earn it - but I do think there is a certain level of wealth and privilege which exceeds the amount of effort a human being can actually put forth. I certainly don’t believe that a billionaire worked a billion times harder than a person with a dollar in their pocket.

All of which leads me to ask myself: are there (no) limits?

Popularity: 24% [?]

Feb

27

Questions - Mandates & Profit

Filed Under capitalism, politics, questions | 9 Comments

Maybe someone can explain to me how this makes any sense: the government decides something is mandatory, e.g. car insurance, child car-seats, health care insurance - and the only entities that can provide those services are privately owned. Why should that be? If the government is going to require that I buy something, shouldn’t they be running that (or at least a competitive) operation? Why should some suit or investor someplace be getting richer because of Uncle Sam’s mandates? If it’s a government problem, shouldn’t it have a governmental solution?

This is ridiculous. Not only that, but if these corporations weren’t for-profit, the costs to the consumer would undoubtedly be less.
How do they manage to slip these things by us? Why hasn’t there been a class action lawsuit about this?

Popularity: 24% [?]

Feb

3

Another Question About Obama Supporters

Filed Under current affairs, humor, lil things, politics, questions | 6 Comments

Over at Making Chutney, Chance asks the question: why are so many UU bloggers for Obama? I have another question about Obama supporters, prompted by my (now third) viewing of the will.i.am video, “Yes, We Can.”

Why are they all so damned good-looking? I mean, have you seen the video? Hill Harper almost killed me, esp. with his adorably clueless Obama t-shirt - dude, do you realize that it looks like you’re wearing your OWN face on your chest?

And then they had to throw in Enrique Murciano from Without A Trace, all sulky with his Cuban eyes looking into mine as he emphatically whispers: “Si podemos.” Yes, we can, Enrique!!! And I want to!

Well, unlike Chance, I never have answers to my own questions. However, my devious imagination envisions some poorly lit and far-flung corner of our nation where every day, airplanes drop off confused loads of sartorially-challenged, lumpy headed people clasping tightly to their Obama ‘08 buttons.

Popularity: 34% [?]