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    • Apr

    28

    Another Catholic Being Awesome

    Filed Under ao resources, current affairs, media, people, politics, race | 7 Comments

    I’ve heard the questions the reporter poses - in some form or another, just change out some of the names if you want - my whole adult life (and longer). Father Phleger - who was dubbed a “black a** kisser” at one website I visited - has responses that I can only characterize as “real.”  I love how his last words apparently stun the reporter into quickly ending the conversation. I guess the reporter just didn’t want to go there.

    Everything Father Phleger has said, I’ve heard black people say growing up. Everything. It’s still incredible to me that there are millions of people out there who aren’t even familiar - they don’t have to agree - with these views. 


     

    Popularity: 62% [?]

    Mar

    14

    More on Race (and Gender) for Kids

    Filed Under ao resources, race | 6 Comments

    “Seek and ye shall find” … just a few days after I vaguely despaired a little in What Does it Take to Be a Good Person, I came across a blog that is addressing some of my concerns about being in a multiracial relationship and having multiracial children.

    Anti Racist Parent is “a blog for parents who are committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook.” I just read a review of Weaving a Family, a Beacon Press book about a white mother of several children, including a black daughter. Little “pings” went off in me - it’s interesting to note my own soft spots. I haven’t read the book, but heard about it because transracial adoption is rather common among UUs. Although I’m not a white adoptive mother of children of color, I’ll add it to my list.

    Another good post is by a dad who writes about navigating the world of gender-coded toys and clothing for his three year old daughter.This is something I’ve already encountered just in checking out (sweatshop-free, of course) onesies and basic crib bedding.
    Ack! I don’t wear pink dresses with giant flowers on them, and my husband doesn’t wear shirts with trucks and baseballs on them, so why would our kid? It’s very intense.

    We stopped in Pottery Barn Babies the other day (just to look) and wow. Even the beds are for girls OR boys. But more distressing was that the girl room side had beautiful kitchen and laundry set-ups; the boys’ side looked like a prep school dorm room: bookcases, planetary mobiles, sports, and yachting shit. Again, all beautiful, but if I’m going to be passing off weird-ass dreams to my kids, they’re going to be my weird-ass dreams. And I happen to think it’s possible to be both studious AND willing to wash your own clothes.

    In any case, I digress. Anti-Racist Parent - it’s a great blog. A diverse group of people are contributers, and the posts are as entertaining as they are illuminating.  And you don’t have to be a parent to enjoy it.

    Popularity: 32% [?]

    Mar

    11

    Epiphany about Racism

    Filed Under anecdotes, race, rants | 9 Comments

    The LH and I talk about race at least once every day, and last week I had a real moment of epiphany. We were talking about this black, Christian minister named Jesse Lee Peterson, who appears on Fox (Bill O’Reilly’s show in particular) to confirm all the anti-black feelings the white viewers of the show want to see justified. In one particular segment he made the statement that “most - not all, not all - but MOST black people are immoral.” 

    I got so angry, I called him a “self-hating black man.” (Wrong, I know.)  Then I got all indignant about the “lynch him in a back alley” comment about Tiger Woods from the white lady on the Golf Channel; and Fuzzy Zoeller’s earlier statements about Tiger Woods and “fried chicken” and “collards, or whatever they like to eat.” Of course, Tiger never takes offense to any of these things and publicly “okays” these things. And then there is that nutcase Pastor Hagee, (endorser of John McCain) who after being called out for advertising a “slave auction” as a church fundraiser claimed not to have “a racial bone in my body.”

    So I was complaining about these things. “What does a white person gotta say before other white people will agree it’s racist!?” I was pretty hot under the collar. All I want is for somebody to stand up and just ADMIT they were thinking racist things. Just admit it. Don’t try to act like the rest of us are overreacting morons. Take responsibility, for heaven’s sake.

    But then Michael (the LH) pointed out that the reason lots of people won’t call something racist is because they believe it to be true. For white people like O’Reilly, he said, if it’s true, it’s not racist. The reason they get so indignant when accused of racism is because they see it as punishment for being honest. 

    Hmm. If true, that would certainly explain a lot.  I’m going to have to mull that over for a while. Who knows; maybe the same applies to other things, as well (e.g. ageism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, etc.). I swear, one day, I’m going to better understand these things from a non black woman’s perspective. Heaven knows why I feel it’s necessary.

    p.s. Despite my anger, I do understand the mentality of the self-hating black person; I do. But I still want to gouge my eyes out when I see that Rev. Peterson has a chapter in one of his books titled, “Why Black Women Are So Mean.” Michael’s response is to laugh at racism (both internalized inferiority and superiority). I might laugh sometimes, but my blood pressure still goes up.   

    Popularity: 22% [?]

    Dec

    28

    Are You “Not Hispanic”?

    Filed Under anecdotes, lil things, politics, race | 2 Comments

    Over the last year or so I’ve come across numerous “demographic” questionnaires that are very particular about ferreting out the “Hispanics” among us. Last winter, the first of these threw both the LH and me for a real loop:

    Strange Questionnaire

    As you may or may not be able to see, the creators of this form apparently believe that if you are Hispanic you cannot identify as anything else. I especially love the last line: “Two or more races (not Hispanic or Latino).”

    For a few moments, the LH was in a bit of quandary as to what box to check seeing as how he is half Japanese and half Mexican (European + indigenous + who knows). But eventually he chose Asian because … majority rules. (???) The thing is, the LH is not that unusual. I know of a dozen people who have one Mexican parent and one Pakistani parent. Not to mention the Chinese Cubans, and myriads of other folks.

    This questionnaire came up when the LH was completing paperwork for employment - something to do with Homeland Security. Since that time, we’ve seen similar forms at the bank and other places. The most recent form that I saw like this was for the SATs - it was identical except for one curious addition: being Mexican warranted its very own box on its very own line.

    At least it didn’t say “Mexican (not Hispanic or Latino).”

    Popularity: 20% [?]

    Sep

    21

    Thoughts on Jena Six and Growing Up Black

    Filed Under anecdotes, current affairs, from the heart, race, sadness, small happinesses | 6 Comments

    I’m grateful that so many UUs have mobilized themselves to address the immediate situation of the Jena Six, while also calling attention to the underlying racial and class prejudices of the criminal “justice” system. It’s been amazing to witness the growth of awareness - among white folks, among very young people, and even in the news.

    Where my emotions get all mixed up is hearing people express incredulity that this could be happening - in 2007. To me and many other black people there is nothing shocking about this; it’s business as usual. Fifteen years ago, post-Rodney King riots/uprising, while watching an evening news commentary of racial relations, the newscaster (it may have been Peter Jennings) took me by surprise by saying, (paraphrase) “It may come as a shock to many of tonight’s viewers, but some African Americans actually believe there is a conspiracy to destroy black men in this country.”

    Upon hearing this I sat up straight. What did he mean “actually believe?” As if it weren’t true! For me it was always just true. Being raised by black parents - one who grew up poor in the South, participated in sit-ins and experienced his high school being integrated; the other who grew up in NYC during the 1970s - there were just things you were taught about the world. Living in Queens, Harlem, Brooklyn, and (later) a primarily black suburb in Long Island meant that my formative years were spent with black people, learning to see things through the eyes of black people. Until I was twelve years old, white people lived on tv and in books and sometimes at my school(s) - probably much the same way black people exist for many young white children.

    Even after almost two decades of living in white communities, attending a white church, associating with mostly white people, and attempting on many levels to “move beyond” race, and see people as individuals, I can’t get away from the fact that there is little justice for black men in this country. I never learned to expect it. What I learned is that you will be outraged, and outraged and outraged again. You will see people’s eyes roll sideways as they suspect you of paranoia. Although I do anti-racism workshops, sometimes I just feel at a loss for how to make them understand. Yes, this is wrong. yes, I wonder how this could happen - all the time! It is always there, weighing on us.

    What makes me sad is that even with all of the outward pressure currently bearing down on the authorities responsible for “the Jena 6,” it is still a battle for these young men’s lives. Why such a battle? Why is it so easy to lock them up as if their lives were nothing?

    Years ago, when one of my brothers was having conflicts with teachers at school, one of his (white) teachers took my mom aside and told her (paraphrase), “When I look at your son, I see myself at his age. I understand what he’s going through. He’s just a kid. The problem here is that when other teachers look at him, they can’t see themselves in him (because he’s black).”

    When it comes to race relations, sometimes my faith flags. I’m still a humanist; I believe we can work this out, that there are enough people willing to do the hard work of opening their eyes, examining themselves, and challenging each other to create justice and peace. I’m glad that for some folks, this is new, galvanizing, or makes them angry. In this moment, I feel none of these.

    related posts:
    Not So Random Feelings on Race
    What is the Value of Young Black Men in Our Society?

    Popularity: 31% [?]

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