A Challenging Week

Filed Under from the heart, life changes, local, new things, sadness | 16 Comments

Today was not a good day - the assessment from the cardiologist about our 31 week ultrasound indicates that our little one likely has a congenital heart defect known as hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS). It is very rare and serious. Without surgeries or a heart transplant, it is fatal within several days.

In addition to this, one of my best friends is visiting from Tennessee. She flew out for my baby shower on Sunday, and was en route when she learned of the tragic events at her home congregation, Tennessee Valley UU Church. Fortunately, a UU fellowship nearby held a vigil Monday night that we were able to attend. You can read The Columbian newspaper article about that here.

All in all, not the best few days of my life, but we’ll see what the morning holds, and the coming days, weeks, and months. In any case, the DH has been encouraging me to write more and publish things, so I’m going to make the effort, sincerely. Apologies to the commenters to my last post on ODD - I’ve been reflecting on everything written as the comments came in, and will respond soon.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Mar

3

Thoughts on Prisons

Filed Under heteropatriarchy, media, rants, sadness | 3 Comments

I had the misfortune of seeing a few minutes of an MSNBC show about prisons. It was about “dangerous” teenagers in jail. I got to see a young man be pepper-sprayed and then face planted by four guards for kicking a door and resisting going into segregation. Something about the way prison was depicted in this show - and in a previous episode that I watched with my grandmother the other day - dismayed me. It was a flat portrayal - no analysis, no critical eye, no reflection … just a paint by numbers depiction of how tough and scary working in a prison is.

I’ve been in prisons before; it’s not fun. It’s not a place you want to be, even as a visitor. But didn’t it disturb anyone else - the people making this show - to see a teenage boy on the floor groaning while grown men called out “get the shackles?” And “decontamination” showers. What are we doing here? What is the point?

The LH says that he’d like to see prisons operate on a completely different model. Right now they are run like schools; but perhaps instead they could get funding based on how well they rehabilitate. Prisons who churn out repeat offenders lose funding, and lose inmates. Competition can be a good thing; the people running prisons would be motivated to do a better job. As it stands today, it’s actually good for prisons when someone gets locked up again, and again, and again. Hey, who says crime doesn’t pay?

Popularity: 18% [?]

Dec

27

Unburying My Head

Filed Under current affairs, history, islam, politics, sadness | Leave a Comment

Not being much of a news watcher, I learned about Benazir Bhutto’s assassination from a casual blogger in Brooklyn. For the first few minutes, I ran searches in Google, trying to confirm that it was just a prank or rumor, but it seems to be real.

For a while now I’ve been feeling a growing bemusement about what so-called Muslims are doing to each other. Earlier this year, I stopped listening to reports about bombings across the African and Asian continents - and slaughters in Iraq. As a former Muslim I am dismayed - and wondering what conversations Muslims are having about these atrocities - in this post 9/11, post-Taliban, post-Saddam, post-Arafat “Muslim world.”

I’ve had the displeasure of interacting with a few very frightening “Muslims” who expressed support for suicide bombings and such things - and this was pre-9/11. But even then they seemed peripheral. Surely, as a typical Muslim in the US, such people are anomalies and weirdos - they were as central to my life as neo-Nazi clans are to the average American. But gradually these people have become less peripheral; they are changing the agenda. Hell, they are the agenda.

For a long time I just wanted to take a break from all things politically Muslim. But now it’s definitely time to get my head out of the sand. I decided last week, while registering for my Winter classes, to take History of the Middle East (in Spring there is History of US-Middle East relations). There is a lot I don’t understand and don’t know.; lots of blanks to fill in. I’m sure a few courses won’t teach me all there is, but it feels more and more necessary to have some grasp of what’s going on. I may not be able to do anything more than have an informed opinion, but that’s got to feel better than just being at a complete loss.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Nov

6

Always

Filed Under life changes, rants, sadness | 2 Comments

Always, always write a will. It doesn’t matter if you have just one child, or if you’re married. Always write a will. Please. Today. You will die one day - I promise. Deal with it.

Popularity: 17% [?]

Oct

25

Where I’m At

Filed Under being creative, events, inspiration, love, people, sadness | 5 Comments

Right now I’m in New York; after talking with my mom yesterday morning it became apparent that I needed to come out and be with her. Her dad is dying, and now his wife of 40 years is in the hospital, possibly in the advanced stages of cancer.

So I flew out yesterday afternoon and arrived early this morning. Visited my step grandmother and my granddad at their respective hospitals, talked with doctors about DNRs, DNIs, life support, feeding tubes, hospice care, etc.

When we returned to my grandfather’s house this evening, my mom took me to the basement, to show me where the washer is. (I’d spilled gasoline on myself while pumping gas in Manhasset.) I found a bunch of my granddad’s manuscripts - novels and short stories he’d written 40 and 50 years ago.

I’d planned to do some reading in preparation for the Real Wealth of Portland event I’m flying back to moderate this Friday night, but instead I read a bunch of his short stories. These were his thoughts - the things he felt were important. These were, as the poet William Stafford put it, “the evidence.”

It’s with no small measure of pride that I say my grandfather was a writer. He was persistent, observant, informed, and writing, writing, writing. I’m inspired.

I feel sleepy now, so I’ll just end by saying that I’m glad I came. My mom has no siblings and has been bearing a lot on her own. Emotionally and practically, it’s just a lot to deal with, and even though I don’t feel particularly helpful, she says me just being here takes a big weight off her shoulders.

I am definitely going to have to come back soon. Maybe as soon as Saturday.

Popularity: 27% [?]